Holy Week

Maundy Thursday and I'm still in the office. right now i'm still thinking about what the lenten season means to me. so much thoughts... don't have much time to write (sagabal talaga itong trabaho sa blog =P).

this just reminds me.. i was at carriedo a few weeks back trying to get an NBI clearance. actually i tried to get it at Park Square in Makati but the staff there told me to go to the main office because the machine there can't read the barcode on my old clearance. so much for the "High-Tech" machine...galing talaga ng pinoy (sarcastic laugh)..

so there i was, in carriedo waiting for my clearance to be released. i arrived at 1pm and they told me i would have it by 4pm. ok.. 3 hours to spare.. now what? aga ko pa naman dito tapos maghihintay ako ng tatlong oras? after almost 2 hours of walking around quiapo, the p-dvd areas, raon, etc... i decided to take a rest.

well, Quiapo church was the only place where i can sit down for free...ok.. i was there not to pray but just have a welcome rest to ease my feet which are hurtin' real bad by now... di lang paa... pati yata mga daliri ko sa paa eh naninigas na...

during my "rest" there, marami akong nakita... merong nakaupo.. nagdadasal, merong lumalakad ng paluhod, merong mga batang naglalaro, nagtitinda ng sampaguita, mga estudyanteng sasaglit para magdasal (exams nila siguro).. pansin ko lang iba iba sila ng style ng pagdadasal... merong nakapikit, merong parang tulala at nakatingin sa wala, merong gumagalaw ang labi na wala namang sinasabi at kung ano ano pa. yung mga tao dun.. they are all praying to a God they have never seen but have faith in...

ayun, sa pagkakaupo ko dun, napa isip ako... is there really a God? i'm not an aetheist nor an antichrist. i spent the last 5 years of my student-life in Don Bosco.. there was a time na araw araw eh nakaka attend ako ng mass...you would say that it would've opened my eyes to christiandom and make me christ-like in nature..oo, siguro religious ako nung bata pa ako.... but it was during college where i saw the hypocrisy of the catholic church.. that the church really isn't infallible

don't get me wrong... gaya nga ng sabi ko, i am not an anti christ.. it's just that my experiences has molded me into what i am now.. changed my whole self and my belief... i am not blocking out the whole concept of a Divine Saviour coming to save us...i may find it hard to believe.. my faith may have been washed away but there's something left in me.. and that is hope...

siguro naman may mga tao ring katulad ko.. siguro yung mga tao sa simbahan, lahat sila umaasa...hoping for salvation, for a better life...

ngayon kung ako ang tatanungin mo ng "Do you believe in God?", ito lang ang masasabi ko. i will not say no.. neither will i answer yes...all i can say is ..."sana"

sana nga meron, sana nga totoong may Diyos...

ikaw? Do you believe in God? holy week na...time for us to think about our lives, our faith and continue hoping...